Love, Lust, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Warning: This post is a rant and could be offensive. Reader discretion advised.

There comes a point in all of our lives where we have to start making important and serious decisions about our morals. That point is probably in the early teens, when sexual temptations begin to really develop. The catch here is that for most people, we have to make and recommit to our morals continually throughout life. Sometimes we make adjustments as our experiences shape our perspective - a process that is normal and probably desirable. However, far too many people give up their morals altogether. This is something that seems to happen with MoHo's more drastically than with other groups.

To put it bluntly, I've heard disturbing rumors about the state of the MoHo community - especially here in Provo. I'm in no position to repeat them here, nor would I want to, but let me just express some of my thoughts on the topic quickly.

Being gay is not justification to have sex with whoever you want. Not having a testimony or even believing the church is a falsehood is also not a good reason to be promiscuous, drink, do drugs, and give up on your morals. These types of actions are reckless, demeaning, and unproductive. No matter who you are or what you've been through - no matter how mad you are at life or the church - don't turn to promiscuity and substance abuse to drown out your sorrows! Do something productive with your life and keep your integrity! These things will never bring you happiness (although perhaps temporary gratification) and will eventually lead to unhappiness and regret. I think it causes a lot of depression, too.

I will confess as I usually do that I'm not perfect and I've made tons of mistakes. Through it all one thing I've learned for certain is that loosening my morals rarely makes me more happy. It usually ends up with a lot of regret. My standard has always been no sex until marriage (or similar commitment) and I know that anything contrary would only make me lose confidence in myself. Even if this is not your standard, I'm sure you can come up with something that works for you and allows you to keep your dignity and self-worth.

And finally, don't ever do drugs! I don't understand why so many people feel the need to turn to alcohol or other drugs when they feel ostracized from society, the church, or their community. Drinking is an immature form of rebellion. It's just that simple. Don't do it. Ever. How can gay people, and most specifically gay Mormons, ever hope to find acceptance and understanding when they so easily conform to the stereotype of flamboyant promiscuous druggies? If you're involved in this, you're doing all gay Mormons a disservice by confirming the mostly ridiculous arguments used by gay bashers and homophobes. You're actually making it harder for people who experience SSA to come out and work towards progress in the church and in society! I implore you to be responsible and smart, to set high standards for yourself and those around you, and to be an example of the goodness of people with SSA rather than the stereotype that the rest of us face unfairly.